I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
