I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
