Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize