All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
