If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
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