i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
