she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
