Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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