i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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