is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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