Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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