Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Randomize
