were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I need to calm my uterus...
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize