so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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