I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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