why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
