Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
