this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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