why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
