I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
