I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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