i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
