how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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