what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
