Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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