the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize