just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
