he puts the penis in happiness.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
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