Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
