Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
