Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
