Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
