woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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