Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
