dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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