I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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