pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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