If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
