You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
