In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Randomize
