Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize