As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
