I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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