Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
