OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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