3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
