singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
