lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize