OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
