Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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