I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize