Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.