Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.