Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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