And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
