Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
