so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
