I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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