mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
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