I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Randomize
