It was confusing and full of hummus
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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