things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I think my vagina is haunted
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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