Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pop tarts are not kleenex
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
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