Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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