I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize